Putting the Tude in Gratitude

Sometimes I avoid saying how grateful I am for fear of sounding as annoying as other people sound when they say it. I'm grateful for most things, big and small, still, I don't feel compelled to update my facebook page every time I hit a green light. Well today, I feel compelled (no, I didn't have wine with my cereal).

I think sometimes we don't give ourselves enough credit for the amazing things we create in our own lives. If something goes wrong, we have no problem blaming ourselves. But, if something goes right, we attribute it to luck, being in the right place at the right time, etc.

Twenty-seven years, a hot ass baby, a loving fiance, and a great career later and I'm finally starting to believe that I deserve everything I've been given and that, in some way, I've created. I think about my good fortunes and I can easily attribute 99% of them to the people who have come, and gone in the past 27 years.

So my "emo" feeling for today is this:
If everything you do comes from a place of good intentions and sincerity, then the Universe will take care of you (be it financially, emotionally, whatever). If you want something, ask for it--you'll be surprised at how rarely you'll hear "no". And the more you hear "yes" the more unstoppable you will feel. If you always let your moral compass guide you, insane opportunities will present themselves and you'll be in a place to accept them without feelings of guilt. And finally, let good people into your life, and prepare to be educated, inspired and fulfilled.

So cheers to everyone who has ever mentored me, loved me, broken up with me, and waved at me when I let them pass on the freeway (so rare!).

An Ode to My Daughter on her 1st Birthday:

--I’m going to tell you you’re beautiful every day for the rest of your life, but this doesn’t get you off the hook. Stay humble, be considerate, and always treat ugly people with kindness.

--Always laugh at yourself, and not at other people’s expense (unless they trip, hahaha)

--I’ll always be here to answer any questions you have---unless it comes to homework, in which case, ask your Dad.

--If you want a tattoo, just wait…I guarantee you when you’re 30 that tweety bird ankle tattoo won’t be as cute as you thought it was at 16. If you HAVE to get a tattoo make sure it reads “BALD” in Old English.

--When, not if, you decide to go gothic for a week, just know that your dad will be pissed. I won’t be mad, I just don’t want to take you to a renaissance fair or shop with you at Hot Topic.

--If you decide to be a stripper make sure you get a cool stage name, like Jasmime, so I can tell everyone you’re a “performer” at Disneyland. Better yet, don’t be a stripper.

--Be careful with tequila. Know how many shots make you want to dance, and how many make you want to take your clothes off…find the balance between the two.

--There’s nothing wrong with being over dramatic---that’s how movie stars are made!

--Eat healthy, take care of your body and find a good self-tanning lotion that doesn’t streak.       

--20 years from now, please tell me that I was a good mom—I’ll need to hear it. And no matter what happens in life, just know that you're my favorite.

Shine on Player!

Self- Tanner is weight-loss in a bottle. It can take you from a 5 to an 8, if applied right. However, with my upcoming nuptials fast approaching, I've decided it's time to glow from the inside out.

And so my Journey begins...

Cleansing the mind/body: My mindful eating all began after reading Jillian Michael's "Master Your Metabolism". If you have time to read " Fifty Shades of Grey", or you spend at least 30 minutes on facebook each day, you have time to read up on the crap that's in your food.
http://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/clean-eating

In an effort to rid my body of everyday toxins that I've ingested (sometimes knowingly, sometimes not) I recently ordered the Standard Process Cleanse. 
It's simple, eat clean, eat often, and exercize. They say you should abstain from caffeine and alcohol, but let's be serious!
http://www.standardprocess.com/display/displayFile.aspx?docid=442&filename=/Public/Lit/Miscellaneous/purificationguideL2605.pdf

So far, I feel amazing! I feel light, and clean, and I'm hardly ever hungry. I've dropped 4lbs since Monday but I'm sure that's just water weight and whatever bad attitude I shed since then.

Exercizing the demons: I've always liked working out but I've never been one for group exercize. I think sweating in a room full of other people is awkward, and I swear someone always farts. So imagine my surprise when I recently attended Bikram Yoga and Hot Pilates and LOVED both. I love the fact that I get to sweat my balls off without having to sit next to a bunch of naked asian women in a gym sauna. I really thought the heat would kill me, but if you work out hard enough you totally forget about the 105 degree  temp. I didn't even notice anyone farting.
I recommend:
http://www.vegashot.com/
http://hotpilateslasvegas.com/

When in doubt, have it poked out: It all started with a $300 Groupon Credit. You'd be amazed at what you'll buy when you have a Groupon Credit. My first impulse purchase was 3 sessions of Acupuncture. I've always been interested in Oriental Medicine (don't worry, I think it's PC to say "oriental" in this case). Some people have PMS, I have PMR (premenstural RAGE)---and there's nothing normal about it. Once a month, I feel this little angry ball form in my stomach and I know it's on. I normally spend the next week crying, eating carbs, feeling guilty about eating carbs, yelling at my fiance, and then crying some more. I had read that if done correctly, acupuncture could help relieve symptoms of PMS---SIGN ME UP! It was all very simple, I walked in, she stuck needles all over my body, she left me alone in the room for 30 minutes, then she came back, removed the needles, I tip'd her, and I left. I told myself if nothing else, it was the best 30 minute nap I'd had. Later that night I woke up dripping with sweat--I also had numerous hallucinogenic dreams, BUT I woke up happy! I went back for a follow up session today. I know it must be working, b/c I haven't thrown anything at my fiance since this time last month ;)


***If you're still not digging it, I have a great plastic surgeon and botox "artist" I'd be happy to refer you to***

1st Annual White Party was a Huge Success!!

If ever you decide to throw one yourself, my tips are as follows:

Tip#1 Invite a whole lot of white people, and hope they show up

Tip#2 Get your tan on at least 2 days before the party (there's nothing worse than your orange glow rubbing off on your crisp whites)

Tip#3 Try not to spill on yourself

Tip#4 Have at least 6 bottle of champ, 4 cases of beer, and 3 bottles of Skinny Girl marg on hand (unless you want your party to suck, then serve iced tea)

Tip #5 Stock up on tons of cheap white flower's from Trader Joe's

Tip#6 Last but not least...try not to poop your pants